Ryan E. Felton

  • 101 Reasons to Hate Dogs

    with thanks to Bill, Bob, and Dodie   “Not to state the obvious,” Selina said, “but I don’t really do dogs.” Bruce’s mouth tightened—not a smile; never a smile. The German Shephard at his feet let a strand of slobber patter onto hundred-thousand-dollar loafers. “It’s one night,” Bruce said. “I’ll be back from Santa Prisca…

  • Little Armored Ones: The Armadillo Kingdom, Illustrated

    The exhibit and book launch for Little Armored Ones was a dream. This 60-page, full color book is an illustrated study of all 20 species of armadillos. On 3/3, we raised funds and awareness for the IUCN’s Anteater, Sloth, and Armadillo Specialist Group. (And I got to cuddle an armadillo.) The book is for sale now!…

  • Armadillo Day: The Nine-banded Varmint and Me

    Armadillo Day The Nine-banded Varmint and Me Ryan E Felton           “What is your ‘Medieval Times?’”           This question, posited by my friend Jessica at dinner, was tantamount to asking, “What would make your inner child happiest?” She’d just returned from a trip to that serf-and-sword-themed mega-restaurant,…

  • Facebook Apology to William Fuller, ca. 2012

    Facebook Apology to William Fuller, ca. 2012 Ryan Everett Felton           Billy,           It’s nearly twenty years overdue, but my therapist and I feel that I owe you an apology, and it’s all to do with the monkey I brought into Mrs. Stockholm’s class, back in fourth…

  • And now, a brief repose:

    As the serial “Good-Bye Garden” winds down to a close in the next few weeks, I thought it might be a nice interlude to share with you this wall art poem I drafted for my good friends’ new daughter. Cheers! (see you Monday!)