And now for something different:

     From a letter my grandfather Jesse wrote to my grandmother Marjorie, while in Okinawa on 4th September, 1945:
“Darlings Marna and Tommie,
I haven’t written you all a decent letter lately. For some reason or other they’ve been short and sarcastic, which isn’t so unusual coming from me!
“How old were you on the 6th of August? I thought it was 27, but those very costly photos (3 for 10 cents) you sent me prove that you’re 47 instead. So you lied about your age! You look old enough to be my mother- don’t you? You really look the part of a war weary widow. Don’t you ever sober up anymore?! Looks as if you have a helluva hangover in the pictures. Is your life wrapped up in that song- ‘I’ll never smile again’?? ‘Sour I was,’ you look just like your Aunt Gertie!
You positively did not mention the fact that you sent these photos, and I can see your point. I’d not plead guilty to such an inhuman act either… Are you trying to get the lead in a horror picture and trying to prove to me that you can look the part?!… All joking (if I’m joking?) above, laid aside now- I don’t believe it’s fair for you to send me such pictures… I simply can’t feature you looking like the pictures show. You didn’t last time I saw you!… You’ll wanta choke me for all this, I know, but it’s not too far from right- Sugah.
“As you say, a lotta us are going to end up in Japan. When, I’m not sure. I’d much rather take the road back, tho. Traveling doesn’t appeal to my better judgement anymore. Maybe it would be something to see Japan, but I’m not interested. There’s not a thing for you to worry about any longer, so quit it!
“Damn, I’d love to see you two again soon, but there’s not a chance. I’d woo you to a standstill even tho you are ‘older’ now. Guess I’d just about squeeze Tommie in two if I got a hold of him. Why dream??
Please take care of yourself and Tommie- ‘For Me.’ 
I love you’s,

I might as well have descended from Mark Twain!


Published by surfingbaku

In the third grade, Ryan Everett Felton was honored with an inkjet-printer certificate from NASA for writing an outstanding mnemonic device intended to help students memorize the moons of Jupiter. To this day he remembers that "my ape ate ten icky ewwie gooey corn cobs," but can't for the life of him remember a single Jupiterian moon. Between the summers of 2001 and 2006 he wrote and drew the weekly comic strip 9-Banded, focusing on the travails and trials of an armadillo and his human companion. During this time he co-created the unintentionally avant-garde comic book series The Lumpish One and founded Poorly Made Films, an Indianapolis-based amateur film production team. Felton has since written and directed five feature-length films, a bevy of bizarre short films, and authored two novels, the most recent of which being "Face Time with Timeface." He is also the writer and colorist of the independently-produced comic book series OURS!

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