Ryan Everett Felton

  • With Child

    WTH. He has a kid What do you mean? Like, with him??? Yes. At the table w him. omg ABORT ABORT             Christina put her phone away and pulled her scarf up over her mouth. Her date, met on some app or other, had claimed one of the plaza’s round tables. “Between the coffee truck…

  • 101 Reasons to Hate Dogs

    with thanks to Bill, Bob, and Dodie   “Not to state the obvious,” Selina said, “but I don’t really do dogs.” Bruce’s mouth tightened—not a smile; never a smile. The German Shephard at his feet let a strand of slobber patter onto hundred-thousand-dollar loafers. “It’s one night,” Bruce said. “I’ll be back from Santa Prisca…

  • Doctor Kenworthy’s Jell-O Girl

    At some point the orderlies had had to tranquilize Ameer. Not that he remembered the struggle—yanking tubes from his arms, attempting to bust his leg cast with a bedpan. Letting the Get Well Soon balloons out the window. Days later he awoke in his lumpy recovery bed for the second time. He whispered now what…

  • The Marketing Cloudcast

    Recently, I appeared with fellow copywriter Pres Maxson on Salesforce’s Marketing Cloudcast. In this episode, we discuss writing ad copy, following brand guidelines, our side gigs as novelists, and the hill upon which I will certainly die—the Oxford comma.

  • Now Available: The Man Who Ran for God

    My novel, The Man Who Ran for God, is now available for purchase. This story was born here on this blog, posted in first-draft increments for the better part of 2017. Now it’s been edited, rewritten, and improved in a published form. Enjoy—and remember, Amazon reviews are always helpful and always appreciated! —R

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