Ryan E. Felton

  • Tannenbaum

    The perfect little family pulled up in a burgundy Ford Pinto and toddled out in their snow boots onto the roadside. They were the seventeenth perfect little family to arrive that day. There was a red-nosed poppa, with his funny flap hat and trimmed mustache, and a blushing momma. A little boy and a littler…

  • Projection

    Projection           I met the devil at the Crossroads of America.           I was fourteen. The last week of October that year, my father rounded up me and Mom and one carryon bag, stuffed with only a change of clothes for each of us and some toothpaste.…

  • An Alan Smithee Joint

    An Alan Smithee Joint Ryan Everett Felton                 As press junkets go, this one was just anemic, Val thought. She’d been to smart phone video game tournaments, e-zine release parties, hell – even a Brad Garrett book signing with higher attendances. Judging by the other half-dozen reporters’ attire…

  • Armadillo Day: The Nine-banded Varmint and Me

    Armadillo Day The Nine-banded Varmint and Me Ryan E Felton           “What is your ‘Medieval Times?’”           This question, posited by my friend Jessica at dinner, was tantamount to asking, “What would make your inner child happiest?” She’d just returned from a trip to that serf-and-sword-themed mega-restaurant,…

  • Breakfast in Belfast, 1972

    Breakfast in Belfast, 1972 Ryan Everett Felton           It was one of MacCruiskeen’s boys I plugged. I rolled the eejit down the alley and tottered off for a pint.           In Belfast there’s no call for subtlety anymore. Snipers’ve seen to that. Most blokes in my line…